I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
hell yes lets make some ravioli
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
