It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
