It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
