You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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