Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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