Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
