I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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