Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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