True but thats because hes a fetus.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize