Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
