You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
