She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize