I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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