I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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