Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
