Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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