today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
