3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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