she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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