I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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