I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
