My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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