Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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