She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize