Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm too high and old for this...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
