I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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