you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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