just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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