is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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