I think I died a long time ago.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
