Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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