Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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