I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you win again, gameday.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
