You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize