First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
