If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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