im holly from the hills drunk
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
