i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
