I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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