Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
