I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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