I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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