i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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