I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize