i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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