he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
