Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
