she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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