so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
