I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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