question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I am mentally ready for anal.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
