That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
