He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
