this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
and she was petting her beer can
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize