A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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