Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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