Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
