11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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