Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
