I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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