guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
