when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
