Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
