My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
