When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
