i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize