And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
