Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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